Rain, rain go away

What a yucky day- but a great weekend!
I was doing overtime all last week as I tried to stay afloat at work, so needless to say I was more than ready for Friday!
I stayed in Friday night, I pumped up the music and my roommate and her boyfriend and I made pizza, talked and shared stories. In May we are all heading to Peru to see:

So we did some planning and some online shopping.
On Saturday I did an early morning hike in hopes of getting geared up for the Inca Trail.
We intended to make a trip up to the mountains to play in the snow but it seems that everyone in LA had the same idea, the 2 was ridiculous! So we turned around and went to the Observatory for a little excursion. It was a crystal clear day before the clouds rolled in, something you have to take advantage of around here!
Saturday night I met up with some friends from Idaho who were in town for a comedy show. My friend has given up his day job in the hopes of becoming a stand up comedian, so he was out in Studio City doing a free gig last night. It was a great time, he was honesty one of the better comics. We all ended up over here after the show for a few beers.
And today I was supposed to have my first golf lesson but the course has been turned into lake so will be postponed until next week. So instead I'm cleaning out my inbox, and catching up on emails.

Here's to a great weekend!

The gift of Television

About 2 months ago my roommate and I cut the cable cord. We turned in our cable box, put Mr. TiVo in the closet and started pocketing $126 a month. Instead of sitting in front of a box every night, we now indulge ourselves in NPR, Netflixs, and conversation. Man how the world has changed! I didn't have TV all through college and we got along just fine, homework ate up my evenings and we had beer for entertainment!

Since college though, TV has come to fill my evenings and conversations. The lunch room at work is filled with TV talk, American Idol, Desperate Housewives, Dance Wars, we even watch CNN while we eat. But since I no longer have TV I sit quietly and offer little tidd-bits of TV news I've read in the paper.
I've come to enjoy it, my coworkers, however, worry about my sanity and roll their eyes when I have to remind them I don't have TV when they ask me if I saw Dance Wars last night.

Thus came the pressure to just plug the TV back in and watch basic cable, mostly so I could converese with the outside world, because apparently TV plays a big part. So we gave that a try, only to find that we have 70 crystal clear cable channels just waiting for us in the TV. I'm not sure if there is something wrong or what, but we have TV! But not only do we have TV, we have FREE cable!
So do I give in and turn on the box or just pretend we don't have it anymore??

Today's Lesson

Sometimes we don't always get what we want.

Sure there are many examples of times when I just didn't get what I wanted. I'm sure there was some Christmas when I wanted a pony and didn't get a pony. But all in all, I've always worked hard, always done the right thing and I've been rewarded justly. Sure things have taken time and sure there has been disappointment but in the end things have worked out.

This job thing as of late has not been going in my favor. I want this promotion so badly, but today I learned there are 48 other applicants, that's 48 other people who will most likely out shine me. Granted nothing has been decided and I have no idea which way things are leaning, other than the fact that my boss has told me to expect a raise at the end of February. This to me means that I will get a raise, not the promotion, in hopes that I will stay while they hire someone else for the open spot.
Now that's not a horrible spot to be in, luckily I'm being compensated for my extra work, but I didn't go to school for 4 years, work my butt off doing internships and volunteer work, work very diligently in this position for almost 2 years, all the while being told that I'm being trained to ultimately fill the open position, and not be given the promotion.
That leaves me wondering what I'm working towards??
Now I know I'm jumping the gun, but that's what all this waiting is doing to my mind and my ego! Things move so slowly in the HR department!!
I must keep remembering that things always work out, it might not be what I want or think I deserve but it will turn into something.

All this for nothing...

Look what I found right outside LA this weekend! SNOW! I did some playing in it, ate it, and snowshoed in it! It was weird to be in snow but not be cold...but I think it's something I could get use to.

I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself so thought I'd write a little in hopes of getting it out of my system. Sunday nights are sometimes too long.

After a year and a half in LA I feel like I'm still missing a friend to call up randomly and do things with. I'm not sure if "adults" do that sort of thing but I really miss those sorts of connections. Perhaps LA is just too large, it could take a good 30 min drive over to someone's house if they don't live close. It's also just hard to make connections with people here, I feel like my interests are a little different (I don't follow celebrity news or watch movies as a pastime.).
It's not that I haven't tried either, I challenge myself to create social situations with at least one person every weekend, it just gets exhausting. It's tiring to tell each new person your general life story and think of interesting questions to ask them, to carry on meaningless conversation and to then do it all over again. None of my relationships for the last year and a half have become deeper, they're still surface relationships, I have yet to really let them into my entire world. I'm forced to say good bye and hello so often that things are always new and never real.

On a side note, I am off tomorrow on my first ever solo work trip. I will be running the show and calling the punches. I'm nervous, mostly that I wont know the answers to all the questions or I'll do something that will make people question my abilities to do all this on my own. I'm a people pleaser and I hate making mistakes when everyone is watching. And I know everyone is watching, not only do I have big shoes to fill I'm also quite young to be telling 50 year old men what they should do for their marketing efforts.

Wish me luck!

Projecting

I am a part of these 20-somethings women's support group. We meet once a month to discuss any sort of issues or concerns we may have going on in our life. It's really a time to sit and share, it has really helped me realize that I am not alone. It seems there are many other women out there who are the same boat as I me.
One interesting thing we discussed tonight was the theory of projecting. The idea is that things we hate in certain people are really traits that we also hold within ourselves.
I was sceptical so I offered an example to see if the theory holds true for my life, it does! Take my Boss for example, she drives me nuts! The main reasons are she's too controlling and must be the center of attention. Everything she has going on is planned out and has been scrutinized frontward and backward to make sure nothing has been looked over and in any social situation she talks over people and has to tell too many stories and details about her life. Upon first glance that's nothing like me. I'm a very laid back person, very self-assured, but dig a little deeper and tonight I realized that as laid back as I'd like to appear what bothers me about her is that everything she's planned and telling me about, I've already thought of and accounted for, I'm just annoyed to find that I've already over thought all those details. As for the talking and constant battle to prove herself, I do that in a different fashion. I'm a pleaser, rather than striving to fit in by sharing too many details with people I do everything I can to make sure they like me, I'm not as self-assured as I thought I was if I'm hung up on pleasing everyone all the time.
It's just interesting to think about. And I know now that I see these things in myself it will make it easier for me to like her because now we have some sort of connection, I have something to relate with.
Too bad tomorrow is her last day...

Stalling

It's Sunday night around 11 o'clock, I'm usually flipping off the light just about now, but tonight I'm in one of those "I'm not quite ready for the day to be over" type moods.
I get that way at night sometimes. Not that I had too great of a day that I don't want it to end, just that I sometimes think twice about starting a new day and stepping one day closer to the end of my journey. Not to be too pessimistic or dark, but just that I'm more sensitive now towards life and the great gift that it is. And that realization sometimes makes falling asleep a little harder to do sometimes.
So I'll just revel a little in what a great weekend this was and remember how thankful I am for the many blessings I have.

REWIND:
Friday: My boss, for the first time since I started working for her, let me leave early! I spent my extra time at Best Buy looking for a new stereo. That place is a shit hole! I had never been, and I'm NEVER going back. They had every TV in the store on, the store was a mess and all they seemed that the sales boy thought would suit my needs were a bunch of cheap looking boom=boxes 12 year olds would be jealous of. It was like a Wal-Mart for electronics. NEVER AGAIN.
I spent the rest of the night watching a season of Golden Girls on Netflixs and listening to the rain.
Saturday: I got my haircut in the morning (I'm still trying to like it). I then spent a few hours trying to get into my car. It seems I have broken the latch on my driver side door. The lock would go up and down but the door wouldn't open. So I called a lock smith and had them open my driver side door (because that lock has never worked with my key) so they could open the driver door from the inside.
That night we had a bunch of friends over for an impromptu party. We played Harry Potter Uno, Apples to Apples, and Guitar Hero all while drinking. It was a great way to spend a rainy night!
Today: I slept till noon, don't tell anyone. The rest of the afternoon I spent at REI dreaming of summer and backpacking! And tonight I went to dinner at my folks place downtown. Mom and I made African vegetable stew--way good!

Ok, I'll regret it if I do too much more stalling. Sleep time.

Big things are brewing

Three days into 2008 and change is in the wind.
My boss has resigned.
This leaves a spot for me. I have applied, this is assuming I get the position.
The only problem is I'm having a big anxiety attack. I deserve the job, I know I do. I've been the assistant now for almost 2 years and worked very hard. I'm just scared. I'm nervous about the expectations and the big shoes left to fill. I'm scared that people won't really believe in my abilities and that I'll let them all down. I know they wouldn't hire me if they didn't believe in me, but I'm scared about taking the position and not living up to the expectations.
It's just different and more expectations....that's a lot of new stuff all at one time.

It's a new year!

New Year resolutions:
1. Blog daily, or close to daily.
2. Be kinder to customer service type people.
3. Learn to slow down -mostly stop rushing on work projects, in traffic and in social life
4. Write e-mails more frequently to friends and family

That's it! That's my list for 2008. I'm going to attempt to keep things simple and optimistic.
I hope you all are looking forward to hearing from me more often. I'm looking forward to sharing!