yikes

As I eluded to last in my last post, a lot of things have changed in the past two years, enough to make me reread through my previous posts and be kind of self-conscious.
I knew little about the world; I knew something about being a college kid and the ways in which I thought the world would be after graduation but those ideas haven't taken me very far. I've learned a lot about myself, but I probably still don't know enough.

These days I like to think of myself as more independent and self-sufficient but in all actuality I've needed my family and friends now more than I ever had in the past. I had this big idea that the real world would be me on my own making things happen. And it's been that way to a degree, but behind that it has also been a lot of phone calls, tear filled nights and a few hours of counseling. It's been a lot of people giving their ears and arms to me, and my true friends have never left my side.
The real world is scary, I think it will always be scary...but if there's one thing I didn't know before I graduated, it is that I will never be alone. My independent self has been humbled a little, marriage doesn't seem so bad, promises to people you love don't seem so hard to make, and doing things your own feminist way is only going to get you so far. It's ok to lean on people, and it's OK to ask for help.

For these lessons I say grace.