Promise
So one of my roommates, and not to mention best friends has made this promise to one of her ex-boyfriends that she will never drink alcohol again. Which is hard for me to comprehend. Would I ever be able to make a promise to someone about how I live my life, and feel good about myself in the end?
I don't think I would. I can make promises to myself but only when I feel completely dedicated to the cause. Once I feel like I'm hindering myself I back out.
Making that sort of promise to someone else would make me feel like I was suffocating myself- what makes them think they can have control over my decisions? Who are they to say?
But is it stubbornness or am I that controlling of myself and my relationships? Will I ever be able to commit my word or actions to someone else so we can share a life together? Perhaps I'm not mature enough yet? Or maybe I just haven't met the person yet that is worth these sorts of sacrifices-not that I would ever give up alcohol-but maybe someday promises like these wont seem like sacrifices? And until them I might just have to keep living for myself.
posted by big-C at 8:47 PM
3 Comments:
I have, for years made a point to not PROMISE anything - the only thing that I say is - that I will try. Why set in stone what your heart wants when you know that you have the potential to fail? BUT the act of trying and the outcome means more to me than putting more emphasis on the promise as oppseed to the act or actions. blargh.
kev -- i concur. promises are empty breaths.
The issue of alcohol is about learning self control and not really about being controlled by a promise to someone else.
Complete abstinence is about avoidance however learning to Stop after one or 2 builds self control.
Love isn't about control or give and take. Love's more about forming a mutual admiration for each other and a willingness to share life as it comes along.
As for making a commitment to allow someone into your inner thoughts and passions on an ongoing basis takes leaps of trust and self control. LOVE can be so powerfully uplifting only with self control can you stay grounded.
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