Who's line is it?

I spent two days last week at a career transition seminar, it was part of my severance package. We spent most of the time concentrating on resumes and networking techniques. But some time on the first day was spent talking about transition and what it means while looking for a new job.

The speaker emphasized how important it is to spend time reflecting on what it is you want from your next job and what you want long-term. Once you know that it's easier to focus your time on jobs that will get you where you want to go. Those dreams will suddenly become reality, it's one of those "we create our own destiny" scenarios.

I've always lived this way. That book "The Secret" was no surprise to me. My problem with this way of thinking when it comes to jobs is: I THINK I know what I want but ultimately I'm capable of being happy where ever I may end up. Take for instance my last job, never in a million years did I think I'd be at REIT doing marketing for a cause I don't particularly believe in, yet I was happy there. I made the most out of it, learned a ton and made a lot of friends.

So as I do the job search it's hard for me to rule things out simply because it's not in my line of vision (and for the record, I think my age makes my line of vision more narrow than it should be, simply because I have limited experiences...). Who am I to say "yes" or "no" to opportunities simply because I haven't yet dreamt of the idea?

For instance I had an interview on Friday at a capital management firm. I went in thinking it was strictly administrative based on the job posting, and should I get an offer there was no way I'd accept it. Turns out it was more or less what I was doing at my old job; something I know I'm capable of and somewhat enjoy doing. Although it wasn't something I would normally picture myself doing I really believe it was something I'd enjoy. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on what comes to fruition), however, they decided I wouldn't be happy there long-term. (Which is a whole other discussion.)

For the most part I know what I'm looking for and intend on making something along those line happen. But for the most part, when it comes to the job search I really like the "what's meant to be will be" approach. I'm not really the only person in charge here. I just need to keep an open mind and be willing to give anything a try.

Unemployment

I like that I can come back to my blog as things in my life change, or as I have some extra time and the need to write!

I was laid-off a few weeks ago-hence the abundance of time! I'm still kind of sad about it, I put everything I had into that job for the past 3 years. It might have not been my dream job but I really enjoyed going to work everyday and made some wonderful friends.

I made it to our company holiday party last night, my closest coworkers insisted I be there. It wasn't as awkward as I had imagine, just a few people I avoided. All in all we eat and drank and danced till they kicked us out. Nothing beats partying on the company's dime!


And now I continue the daily search for employment and answers to BIG life questions. I suck at making decisions. I feel like there are an infinite amount of paths before me and no matter which one I take my life will go in a completely different direction. Depending on the day this "freedom" is both liberating and exhausting. I have to remind myself, it must be taken one day at a time, and I really should be thankful for the chance to start over without any strings!

I'm not the kind of person to get stressed or over anxious about things that might be or never are. I do what can; send out resumes to jobs that interest me (in a variety of locations), run, read and eat up my days surfing the web. So as much as I hate being idol and waiting for something to come along, that's just about all I can do for now....and besides that means you might just get to hear a little more from me! :-)

Rain, rain go away

What a yucky day- but a great weekend!
I was doing overtime all last week as I tried to stay afloat at work, so needless to say I was more than ready for Friday!
I stayed in Friday night, I pumped up the music and my roommate and her boyfriend and I made pizza, talked and shared stories. In May we are all heading to Peru to see:

So we did some planning and some online shopping.
On Saturday I did an early morning hike in hopes of getting geared up for the Inca Trail.
We intended to make a trip up to the mountains to play in the snow but it seems that everyone in LA had the same idea, the 2 was ridiculous! So we turned around and went to the Observatory for a little excursion. It was a crystal clear day before the clouds rolled in, something you have to take advantage of around here!
Saturday night I met up with some friends from Idaho who were in town for a comedy show. My friend has given up his day job in the hopes of becoming a stand up comedian, so he was out in Studio City doing a free gig last night. It was a great time, he was honesty one of the better comics. We all ended up over here after the show for a few beers.
And today I was supposed to have my first golf lesson but the course has been turned into lake so will be postponed until next week. So instead I'm cleaning out my inbox, and catching up on emails.

Here's to a great weekend!

The gift of Television

About 2 months ago my roommate and I cut the cable cord. We turned in our cable box, put Mr. TiVo in the closet and started pocketing $126 a month. Instead of sitting in front of a box every night, we now indulge ourselves in NPR, Netflixs, and conversation. Man how the world has changed! I didn't have TV all through college and we got along just fine, homework ate up my evenings and we had beer for entertainment!

Since college though, TV has come to fill my evenings and conversations. The lunch room at work is filled with TV talk, American Idol, Desperate Housewives, Dance Wars, we even watch CNN while we eat. But since I no longer have TV I sit quietly and offer little tidd-bits of TV news I've read in the paper.
I've come to enjoy it, my coworkers, however, worry about my sanity and roll their eyes when I have to remind them I don't have TV when they ask me if I saw Dance Wars last night.

Thus came the pressure to just plug the TV back in and watch basic cable, mostly so I could converese with the outside world, because apparently TV plays a big part. So we gave that a try, only to find that we have 70 crystal clear cable channels just waiting for us in the TV. I'm not sure if there is something wrong or what, but we have TV! But not only do we have TV, we have FREE cable!
So do I give in and turn on the box or just pretend we don't have it anymore??

Today's Lesson

Sometimes we don't always get what we want.

Sure there are many examples of times when I just didn't get what I wanted. I'm sure there was some Christmas when I wanted a pony and didn't get a pony. But all in all, I've always worked hard, always done the right thing and I've been rewarded justly. Sure things have taken time and sure there has been disappointment but in the end things have worked out.

This job thing as of late has not been going in my favor. I want this promotion so badly, but today I learned there are 48 other applicants, that's 48 other people who will most likely out shine me. Granted nothing has been decided and I have no idea which way things are leaning, other than the fact that my boss has told me to expect a raise at the end of February. This to me means that I will get a raise, not the promotion, in hopes that I will stay while they hire someone else for the open spot.
Now that's not a horrible spot to be in, luckily I'm being compensated for my extra work, but I didn't go to school for 4 years, work my butt off doing internships and volunteer work, work very diligently in this position for almost 2 years, all the while being told that I'm being trained to ultimately fill the open position, and not be given the promotion.
That leaves me wondering what I'm working towards??
Now I know I'm jumping the gun, but that's what all this waiting is doing to my mind and my ego! Things move so slowly in the HR department!!
I must keep remembering that things always work out, it might not be what I want or think I deserve but it will turn into something.

All this for nothing...

Look what I found right outside LA this weekend! SNOW! I did some playing in it, ate it, and snowshoed in it! It was weird to be in snow but not be cold...but I think it's something I could get use to.

I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself so thought I'd write a little in hopes of getting it out of my system. Sunday nights are sometimes too long.

After a year and a half in LA I feel like I'm still missing a friend to call up randomly and do things with. I'm not sure if "adults" do that sort of thing but I really miss those sorts of connections. Perhaps LA is just too large, it could take a good 30 min drive over to someone's house if they don't live close. It's also just hard to make connections with people here, I feel like my interests are a little different (I don't follow celebrity news or watch movies as a pastime.).
It's not that I haven't tried either, I challenge myself to create social situations with at least one person every weekend, it just gets exhausting. It's tiring to tell each new person your general life story and think of interesting questions to ask them, to carry on meaningless conversation and to then do it all over again. None of my relationships for the last year and a half have become deeper, they're still surface relationships, I have yet to really let them into my entire world. I'm forced to say good bye and hello so often that things are always new and never real.

On a side note, I am off tomorrow on my first ever solo work trip. I will be running the show and calling the punches. I'm nervous, mostly that I wont know the answers to all the questions or I'll do something that will make people question my abilities to do all this on my own. I'm a people pleaser and I hate making mistakes when everyone is watching. And I know everyone is watching, not only do I have big shoes to fill I'm also quite young to be telling 50 year old men what they should do for their marketing efforts.

Wish me luck!

Projecting

I am a part of these 20-somethings women's support group. We meet once a month to discuss any sort of issues or concerns we may have going on in our life. It's really a time to sit and share, it has really helped me realize that I am not alone. It seems there are many other women out there who are the same boat as I me.
One interesting thing we discussed tonight was the theory of projecting. The idea is that things we hate in certain people are really traits that we also hold within ourselves.
I was sceptical so I offered an example to see if the theory holds true for my life, it does! Take my Boss for example, she drives me nuts! The main reasons are she's too controlling and must be the center of attention. Everything she has going on is planned out and has been scrutinized frontward and backward to make sure nothing has been looked over and in any social situation she talks over people and has to tell too many stories and details about her life. Upon first glance that's nothing like me. I'm a very laid back person, very self-assured, but dig a little deeper and tonight I realized that as laid back as I'd like to appear what bothers me about her is that everything she's planned and telling me about, I've already thought of and accounted for, I'm just annoyed to find that I've already over thought all those details. As for the talking and constant battle to prove herself, I do that in a different fashion. I'm a pleaser, rather than striving to fit in by sharing too many details with people I do everything I can to make sure they like me, I'm not as self-assured as I thought I was if I'm hung up on pleasing everyone all the time.
It's just interesting to think about. And I know now that I see these things in myself it will make it easier for me to like her because now we have some sort of connection, I have something to relate with.
Too bad tomorrow is her last day...